So then…

I said I'll come around more regularly, so here I am, but I'm not quite sure what I've got to write about. I write for a living (more or less) but I always have a clear purpose and intended message. Rambling on feels awkward.

Anyhoo. Monday morning. Home from work with a stuffed up, coughy little three year old. Six year old spending the PD day (no school) at his best friend's – cookie decorating and going to a theatre. So fun for him.

Had a nice weekend – I've finally gotten to that point where drinks don't even occur to me on Friday night anymore. I look forward to weekends for family time, getting organized and not having to rush out the door in the mornings. Not exciting but much more uplifting than a bottle of wine (or more) on Friday night, greasy food on Saturday, simply hanging on until the kids' bedtime so I can hit the couch, and spending Sunday trying to make up for the last two days. That, my friends, is not what a weekend should be.

I've been meaning to write a 100 days sober recap post but not sure I'll ever get around to it. That being the case, maybe I'll just pick one spin-off benefit to speak to in each post and slowly I'll cover them all. This will also help me keep the positive aspects of sobriety top of mind.


Like most of my spin-off benefits, I don't totally understand how or why this is related to my not drinking, but I know it is. I wasn't a daily drinker – more like drinking twice a week, getting drunk once a week, and taking some spectacular nosedives into a bottle(s) every few months – so I had plenty of sober time. I've noticed though that sobriety opens up a mental space for a much more thoughtful and deliberate accounting of my life and its direction. When I'm drinking, at all, that door just shuts. So strange.

But now, with plenty of time to think/plan/commit myself to something, I've accomplished the following:

  • Followed through on a skin care routine that includes cleansing every night, and doing a peel and mask once a week.
  • Had my initial appointment with a naturopath, gave an honest assessment of my health and level of self-care, and so far maintained the new habits she suggested including supplements, lemon water in the morning, no coffee without food, less caffeine in general and having protein with breakfast. Absolutely feel a significant difference in having stuck with this.
  • Started doing back exercises, which are the only way I'll be able to get back to running. I'm not making anymore excuses – it is up to me to bring my body up to the standard I want. A standard that includes it being healthy and strong.
  • I have organized the craziness that is my family's life with the Cozi app (do you have it? I love it.) and have started planning meals and working to keep my husband in the loop. He can't help me if I keep everything on mental lists that he can't see.

There might be other things but those are the biggies. I feel more in control, more hopeful and more able to navigate my days because I'm taking pride in myself and my family. To the world, I'm quite sure my life and my ability to deal has always seemed just fine, but it didn't feel okay. I didn't feel okay.

And now, I do. šŸ™‚

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